Buses, where do I start! As the saying goes ‘just like buses, when you want them they never turn up and when you don’t they all come at once’. Personally I think that’s a bit harsh, I mean when do buses ever turn up? Contrary to your initial thoughts I do not have a personal vendetta against buses, well not quite anyway. Having had the joy of using buses for nearly everyday for two years travelling to college it has allowed me to see the brutish machines in a different light. And not a good one at that.
One of the main reasons I strongly dislike buses is that, to be frank they are a safety hazard. The amount of times I have unwillingly charged down the aisle of the bus smashing into flailing shopping bags as I attempted to gracefully exit my ride is unbelievable. I would dread the arrival of my stop and the inevitable fate that followed.
One particularly bumpy and unenjoyable journey was brought to an end with, well I thought the drama had ended for the day, oh how wrong I was, the ringing of the big red button signed ‘stop’. It’s ironic that it should contain such a falsity. I mean it wouldn’t be wrong to believe that a bus would stop when you dutifully press the ‘stop’ button. Oh how wrong I was again! Stopping? ‘No, not today’ was the new motto of my good driver, he simply was in a rush to get home and just one stop would slow him down immeasurably.
As I said I rang the bell and started off on my treacherous expedition down the bus as I had made the schoolboy error of sitting at the back-what can I say I’m….cool? Well to cut a long story short and to keep some of my shattered dignity in tact, I ended up bulldozing my way past an old couple who let’s just say weren’t too please, and involuntarily sprang into a near sprint finished to get to the door. Health and Safety eat your heart out I didn’t even hold any support polls! Cool and reckless, what can I say I’m quite a catch.
I had at this point broken into quite a sweat-nerves and running never did do anything for my sweat glands. Not only this, when I went to thank the bus driver as any polite person would do, even though I was not all that thankful for embarrassing me and emergency braking into my stop, my voice scraped out in a tone similar to death itself and then continued to leap into a high pitch screech. The only way I can explain this is that I had neglected the use of my voice for the duration of the journey and it had decided it would play a practical joke on me. I genuinely flinched at my own voice and my shock along with the rest of the bus was evident. None of us expected such a strange sound to omit my body. My voice had not only sounded like it had totally deserted me but also returned to soprano heights which really did nothing for my image as a 18 year old.
At this point I thought no more could go wrong, hmm yeah well. Let’s just say that when the bus doors opened I was so nervous to get off that I jumped the gun and ended up being literally jammed in-between the doors. The automatic doors clamped to each side of my body leaving me in a state of flux! I was left hangin’ literally. Panic! I could do nothing while even the bus driver looked with sight unease. After a good minute or so as the population of the bus watched in wonder and a sigh of relief as this disaster hadn’t happened to them, I was finally let down from the clamped doors and could at last gracefully exit the bus.
Head down, arms pumping I walked off pretending the last half an hour had never happened. Excuse me if I hate buses, I feel I have my reasons.